Here is the graph from yesterday’s question showing the percentage of people using various forms of transport in the past month (note: people often used more than one mode of transport)  but the overview has been written in a slightly different way.

“Overall, the proportion of people making a journey by car underwent a dramatic increase over the period shown while the percentage of people who travelled by bus and bicycle fell significantly. In addition, the popularity of travelling by train declined initially and then rose, although it did not reach the level it had at the start.”

I see many students say the data can be divided into a certain number of groups in the introduction and then just mechanically go through the data as it is presented without actually grouping it in the organisation of the essay.

Some teachers tell students to write a sentence like:

“It is immediately obvious that this data can be divided into three groups.”

But then they fail to teach their students to actually use this grouping in the organisation of the essay i.e. write about EVERYTHING THAT INCREASED, then write about EVERYTHING THAT DECREASED and finally write about EVERYTHING THAT STAYED STEADY (or dipped or peaked or whatever else the data shows).

If the candidate writes that: “the data can be divided into 3 groups” but then simply goes through the data in the order it is given, making no attempt to GROUP it, they should not expect a high score. It is NOT LOGICAL to write about something that increased, then something that decreased, then something else that increased, then something that stayed constant and finally something that decreased.

This is not useful and would very likely cause a lower band score. Look at what the IELTS Public Band Descriptors have to say about this:

BAND 7 (Coherence and cohesion): logically organises information and ideas
BAND 5 (Task Achievement): recounts detail mechanically

A logical approach would GROUP the data into what increased, what decreased and then what remained constant, for example, and deal with ALL items that belong to each group in the appropriate section.

DON’T JUST SAY THE DATA CAN BE GROUPED, structure your essay to clearly SHOW the grouping.

If you look back through every big picture description we have written over the last month, you will notice that we did this EVERY TIME. Personally, I would never waste my time to write that the data can be grouped into 3 groups (or whatever number is shown in the data) although it is not wrong to do it, instead, I would structure the essay to demonstrate that these groups exist in the way done in the overview given here.

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